Evaluating Thesis Statements
Take the Quizzes Before or After to Review:
Directions: Read and
discuss the example thesis statements for each of the following 15 writing
prompt topics.
1. What is the ideal college class?
The ideal college class will be educating, entertainment, and
enlightened.
What's wrong:
Some word form errors: ‘will be’, ‘educating’, ‘entertainment’, and
‘enlightened’
An
ideal college class would be educational, be entertaining, and also be
enlightening.
What's wrong:
Close but not quite. The verb ‘be’ does not need to be repeated 3
times.
The ideal college class is educational, entertaining, and
enlightening.
What's
right: The
writer’s stance is clear and the 3 main points have parallel grammatical
structure.
2. Does technology help students
learn more efficiently?
Students using new technologies such as online search engines
means they learn better, fast and most in depth.
What's wrong:
Needs to use proper comparison grammar
Having students use new technologies such as online search
engines enable they to learn better, faster and more in depth.
What's wrong:
Word form errors: ‘enable’ and ‘they’
New technologies such as online search engines allow students
to learn better, faster and more in depth.
What's
right: The writer’s stance is clear and the 3 main points have
parallel grammatical structure.
3. What are the advantages or disadvantages of online learning?
Some benefits of online learning are ease of scheduling,
lower costs than classroom-based learning, and flexible time for
studying.
What's wrong:
Errors in parallelism: ‘lower costs than classroom-based learning’ is the only
one that mentions ‘classroom-based learning’. This should be mentioned only
once, either at the beginning or the end of the 3 main
points.
Some benefits of online learning are its scheduling, cost,
and flexibility.
What's wrong:
Needs descriptive elements and comparison grammar added to the 3 main
points
Compared to classroom based learning, online learning is
easier to schedule, costs less, and has more flexible studying
options.
What's
right: The writer’s stance is clear and the 3 main points have
parallel grammatical structure.
4. What are the advantages or
disadvantages of online learning?
Some disadvantages of online learning are the lacking of face-to-face
classroom contact and the jam-packed scheduling of learners.
What's
wrong: Some word form errors: ‘the lacking’ and
‘scheduling’
Some disadvantages of online learning are that face-to-face
classroom contact is lacking and the schedules of learners are
jam-packed.
What's right: 'This one is
okay but the next answer is better. The writer’s stance is clear and the 2 main
points have parallel grammatical structure.
Some disadvantages of online learning are the lack of
face-to-face classroom contact and the jam-packed schedules of
learners.
What's
right: The writer’s stance is clear and the 2 main points have
parallel grammatical structure. Look at the previous
answer.
5. Should schools pay for sports
programs as well as educational materials?
Schools should support sports programs in addition to buying
educational supplies because of the important of good health, a balance
education, and competition school spirit.
What's wrong:
Some word form errors: 'important', 'balance', and
'competition'
Schools should support sports programs in addition to buying
educational supplies because of health, balanced education, and school spirit
should be strong.
What's wrong:
Errors is parallelism: ‘health’ is a noun, ‘balanced education’ is a noun
phrase, and ‘school spirit should be strong’ is an entire
clause
Schools should support sports programs in addition to buying
educational supplies because of the importance of good health, a balanced
education, and competitive school spirit.
What's
right: The writer’s stance is clear and the 3 main points have
parallel grammatical structure.
6. Should all students study math, even if their intended major
does not require it?
Students should study math regardless of their majors due to
the fact that mathematical skills are needed for going shopping at the mall,
making a budget for the family, and investing money in retirement
accounts.
What's wrong:
This is too detailed for a thesis statement. These details should be included in
the body paragraphs.
Students should study math regardless of their majors since
mathematical skills are needed to shop, budgeting, and investments.
What's wrong:
Errors is parallelism: ‘shop’, ‘budgeting’, and ‘investments’ need to be the
same part of speech.
Students should study math regardless of their majors because
mathematical skills are needed for shopping, budgeting, and
investing.
What's
right: The writer’s stance is clear and the 3 main points have
parallel grammatical structure.
7. What should a job interviewee do to succeed?
To have a successful job interview, a job candidate should
practicing answer questions, dressing well, and being polite.
What's wrong:
Some word form errors: 'practicing', ‘answer’, ‘dressing’, and
‘being’
To have a successful job interview, a job candidate should
practice answering questions, be fashionable, and be nice.
What's wrong:
Some mistakes: An interviewee can be fashionable but not appropriately dressed
for an interview, and ‘nice’ is less descriptive than
‘polite’
To
have a successful job interview, a job candidate should practice answering
questions, dress well, and be polite.
What's
right: The writer’s stance is clear and the 3 main points have
parallel grammatical structure.
8. Which is preferable, living in a small town or a a big
city?
Living in a small town is preferable to a big city because of
the air quality, a safer environment, and the slow pace of
life.
What's wrong:
Needs to include descriptive differences or comparison
grammar
Fresh air, a safe environment and a relaxed pace of life are
all reasons to prefer living in a small town instead of a big city.
What's right:
The writer’s stance is clear and the 3 main points have parallel grammatical
structure. Look at the next answers.
Living in a small town is preferable to a big city because
the air is fresher, the environment is safer, and the pace of life is
slower.
What's
right: This one is also correct. The writer’s stance is clear and
the 3 main points have parallel grammatical structure.
Living in a small town is preferable to a big city because of
the air, environment, and pace of life.
What's
right: This one is also correct. The writer’s stance is clear and
the 3 main points have parallel grammatical structure.
9. Which is preferable, living in
a small town or a a big city?
Living in a big city is preferable to a small town because of
the culture, employment and education opportunities.
What's wrong:
Word form errors: ‘culture’ and ‘education’
Living in a big city is preferable to a small town because
cultural, employment and educational opportunities are
available.
What's right:
The writer’s stance is clear and the 3 main points have parallel grammatical
structure. Note ‘because’ + clause (subject & verb).
Living in a big city is preferable to a small town because of
the cultural, employment and educational opportunities.
What's
right: This one is also correct. The writer’s stance is clear
and the 3 main points have parallel grammatical structure. Note 'because of' +
noun phrase.
10. Are people negatively influenced by watching
TV?
Watching too many
television programs can lead to unrealistic expectations because the
presentation of contrived views of reality, overly simplistic solutions, and
excessive violence.
What's wrong: A
clause (subject & verb) is needed after ‘because’, but only noun phrases
follow.
Watching too many television programs can lead to unrealistic
expectations due to the presentation of contrived views of reality, overly
simplistic solutions, and excessive violence.
What's right: The writer’s stance
is clear and the 3 main points have parallel grammatical structure. Look at the
next answer.
Watching too many television programs can lead to unrealistic
expectations because the views of reality are contrived, solutions are overly
simplistic, and violence is excessive.
What's
right: This one is also correct. The writer’s stance is clear and
the 3 main points have parallel grammatical structure.
11. Can watching TV be a positive
pastime?
Watching television is a useful activity because a person can
learn from knowledgeable programs, know what events are happening around the
world, and be entertained with music and movies.
What's
wrong: This is too detailed for a thesis statement. These details
should be included in the body paragraphs.
Watching television is a useful activity because a person can
learn from education programs, know what is happen around the world, and be
entertain.
What's
wrong: Some word form errors: ‘education’, ‘happen’, and
‘entertain’
Watching television is a useful activity because a person can
learn from educational programs, know what is happening around the world, and be
entertained.
What's
right: The writer’s stance is clear and the 3 main points have
parallel grammatical structure.
12. Why are people living longer
than in the past?
Due to better food, improved health care, and a better
standard of living, people are living longer than in previous
generations.
What's wrong:
Errors is parallelism: ‘better food’, ‘improved health care’ and ‘a better
standard of living’ are not parallel – either all should use the same adjective
(e.g. 'better', listed once at the beginning of the series) or all different
adjectives (e.g. 'better', 'improved' and
'higher')
Because we can eat better food, have access to doctors, and
we have a good standard of living, people are living longer than previous
generations.
What's wrong:
Errors is parallelism: ‘we can eat’, ‘have’, and ‘we have’ are not
parallel
Better food, improved health care, and a higher standard of
living are all factors that enable people to live longer than in the
past.
What's
right: The writer’s stance is clear and the 3 main points have
parallel grammatical structure.
13. What are the benefits of participating in sports?
Some benefits of participating in sports include good health,
working on a team, and a competition.
What's wrong:
Needs to have similar grammar construction for all 3 main
points
Some benefits of participating in sports include having good
healthy, the ability to working on a team, and a competitive spirited.
What's wrong:
Some word form errors: ‘healthy’, ‘working’, ‘competitive’, and
'spirited'
Some benefits of participating in sports include having good
health, the ability to work on a team, and a competitive
spirit.
What's
right: The writer’s stance is clear and the 3 main points have
parallel grammatical structure.
14. What are the qualities of a good friend?
Three qualities of a good friend are loyal, lovely and
thoughtful.
What's wrong:
Some word form errors: 'loyal', 'lovely', and
'thoughtful'
Three qualities of a good friend are to have loyalty and love
and be thoughtful.
What's wrong:
Errors in parallelism: Should be ‘to have’ or ‘to be’ for all three
qualities.
Three qualities of a good friend are loyalty, love, and
thoughtfulness.
What's
right: The writer’s stance is clear and the 3 main points have
parallel grammatical structure.
15. What makes a marriage
successful?
The qualities of a successful marriage are loving,
respecting, and laughing.
What's wrong:
Some word form errors: ‘loving’, ‘respecting’, and
‘laughing’
The qualities of a successful marriage are to have love, be
respectful, and be funny.
What's
wrong: Errors is parallelism: Should be ‘to have’ or ‘to be’ for all
three qualities
The qualities of a successful marriage are love, respect, and
humor.
What's
right: The writer’s stance is clear and the 3 main points have parallel
grammatical structure.
Take the Quizzes Before or After to Review: